I’ve been a little on edge for the past couple of days. The Bahn opened for the season, and you know, i was actually kind of okay with it. I had been dreading every single day of work since after spring break. That’s about a month and a half of unhappiness. But i thought once we opened to the public, everything wold be better. I was wrong.
It’s funny, because last year at this time, I was excited for work, I couldn’t wait! My mother seems to remember me not being excited and hating every single weekend until full week operation rolled around. I honestly don’t remember it perfectly, but I know I wasn’t this unhappy. I was happy. Because of Ronn. I remember now. Oh, boy, I cant believe its already been a year since that whole fiasco. That summer was pretty good though. I made more friends then i had ever made. All of which will be in my life for a very long time, and i know this for a fact, because i’m going to try and keep up those connections, because they’re all amazing.
This brings me to the point of this, rant? I’m putting in my two weeks today. I thought that maybe it wasn’t the best thing to do since i kept going back and forth with the idea. But true to form, i made a pros and cons list, and guess what? The pros list has about three things on it, friends, money, and easy. The cons list? Well, too many things. So of course putting in my two weeks is the right choice. I had been debating this, for like I said, about a month and a half. But it wasn’t until this past sunday that my decision was actually kind of made for me.
I started dating a boy. But he isn’t just any boy. I feel like people probably say that all the time, but i’m serious. I’m at the age, where back in high school, I imagined that i’d be engaged and getting ready to graduate this may. So I thought/ planned to have found my soul mate by this time. I might not be engaged or about to graduate, but I found my soul mate. He is everything. Thats really the only way i can describe him. My happiness, motivation, reason for wanting to be the best possible version of myself that i can be. Why is it that every one says that you should never rely on a man for any of those things? I don’t think it matters. If you find what makes you happy, you stick with it. That is the main goal in life isn’t it? to find happiness? Yes, it is.
I cant dwell on the what ifs. Nothing is every set in stone, thats why life is all about taking chances. I can tell that people are thinking that I might be making a mistake by quitting my job for him. Because things change, I don’t know where we will be in a month, actually I do, we will be together having oodles of fun. But still, the point is, I haven’t seen him for five months, and what if he isn’t as great as I remember? What if he sees me and thinks the same thing? It doesn’t matter! Life is about taking chances, remember? That is how you rise above everyone else. By doing the things that other people are too scared to do. I think it’s hard for everyone to understand how it’s possible for me to give up so much for something i’ve only had for so little. A job i’ve had for five years for a boy i’ve been dating for three months. silly? stupid? immature? Maybe to you, but for me, it’s the best decision i’ve ever make. The beauty of that too is that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks anyway, it’s my life. My happiness, not yours.
I didn’t think I could be any happier in life, I thought this was it. But then I thought about how my life would be without the drama and stress of never being good enough at my job.
So, I will be talking to my boss today, telling her i’m putting in my two weeks. Because last sunday she said i could only have two days off at a time for the entire summer. Fuck that. I’m done. I’ll be in Florida, North Carolina, Michigan, and California while you’re working your life away. When I look back on my life, I don’t want to see summers full of working to please other people for only $10 an hour. I want beauty, travel, and new experiences. Everything that this summer is going to bring without my job at the bahn. I’m so ready to be done. So ready to finally reach my potential in everything. I wont be weighed down anymore, and I cant wait. I’m on the path to pure bliss, and this is the first step. Watch out, because things are about to start changing.